Beautiful Life

Hey child up and go; A big world is out there waiting for us to live in every day. Outside you will find, there is love all around you; Takes you, makes you wanna' say; That it's a beautiful life and it's a beautiful world and it's a beautiful time to be here, to be here, to be here. -Fisher

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Just Wanted A Shower!

That's all.  Just a shower.  Not a baby shower.  No, no, no.  The kind that involves a spray of {preferably}warm water, some pink Dove soap, a little squeeze of shampoo and definitely a razor! 

So, on Friday morning, feeling my children were sufficiently occupied and supervised, I stepped into a steamy pour of warm water.  Approximately 1.3 minutes later I hear screams.  Screams or joy?  Screams of terror?  Screams of annoyance?  I didn't know.  So I?  After a brief pause to notice the ensuing silence {which was actually more unsettling than the screams}, continued to lather.

Is that wrong?  I just wanted a shower. 

And, knowing my kids, those were benign screams anyway.  Right?

Well, I guess that depends on your definition!

Because 3 seconds later I hear-bam, bam, bam, bam {child running up stairs}......bang, bang, bang {same child trying to knock the bathroom door in}

Me:  WHAT?
Parker: I need to come in!
Me: Then come in!

So now I'm starting to get a little flustered.  Because maybe the house is on fire, right?  What kind of mother am I taking a shower while my babies need me?!?!

More Silence

Door knob jiggling as boy picks the lock!  He rushes in......

Me:  A WHAT?????
Parker: A MOUSE!

I won't even go into why he could not have told me that from the other side of the door! 

Me:  Well, what's going on?????
Parker:  Noah got the fishing net {Huh?  Is he planning to catch it for a pet?} and I got the pool stick, but it climbed up the wall and jumped past my head!

It climbed the wall?  Okay, I think I need to see this.  Shower is over!

Parker:  Can we take our BB guns out there?
Me: Oh, no!  {You'll shoot your eye out!!!}

I don't say that last part, but I'm thinking it.  Seriously, people.  Because I don't have one 13 year old boy.  I have two.  Can you just imagine two 13 year old boys in a closed space, WITH a moving target??  Can you?  Surely I don't have to tell you how that might have ended!  That's right, with someones eye missing!

At this point I did what any good mother would do.....I jumped out of the shower.  Well, after the boy left.  Because, ya know, I don't really want to be paying that therapy bill. 

I threw on some clothes and then ran for my camera!  What?  You wouldn't have done that?


So, I arrived in the sunroom to find my sons hunting mouse.  Where was the cat I wondered?  Isn't this a job for a cat?  Well, well.  Not our lapdog of a cat!  Oh, no.  She ran and hid under a bed at the first sign of commotion!  She wanted no part of it!  The actual dogs were going nuts though and had to be held at bay.  But only because the boys were doing enough to totally dismantle the room without adding the dogs to the mess! 

After climbing around boxes and toys I managed to get to the area in which they felt they had him cornered.  Nope.  No dice.  But, it didn't take the boys long to find flush him out again.  Only that stinker did it again.  He climbed up the vertical blinds and sat at ceiling height looking down at us!  At which point Noah ran for his nerf crossbow. 

Hold the boat!

At this point our story had to take a little intermission.  See, Isabel has Ice Skating on Friday morning and it was time to leave.  Sorry, but no mouse is going to keep my baby from her lessons.  Hello!  Disney on Ice could be calling any day.  Did I tell you she got moved up another lever?  Did I?  Well she did!  And so, maybe she is my retirement plan! 

Can you let me have that dream? 

Hours later and one frantic phone call to the hubby and we return to the house to find that hubby has set glue traps!  And cornered the rat so that he can't escape without going into a glue trap.  Only, this bad boy jumps!  And once Paul and the boys grew impatient of waiting on him to come out on his own and decided to force the issue, that sucker jumped right over the trap and climbed the wall again! 

So Paul used the bb gun!  Shot it!  I screamed, and the rat fell.  But did not die.  This fun game went on for an  hour.  I gave up and went it.  suffice it to say, 3 bbs, some goof off and 2 pellets from the pellet gun later, the mouse is dead.  And hubby got to scrub up the mess he made! Ewwwwwwww!

 Rest in pieces peace little mouse.  Okay, maybe it was a rat.  I don't care what it is!

I just want a shower!


Hezra said...

EEEEK!! lol, thank you so much... I needed to see that! NOT! My hubster is out of town for a conference and I hear a mouse in my laundry room. I am now aware they can climbWALLS! GAH!!

Amy said...

LOL!! Thanks for the laugh...I needed it today;)

The Source said...

Oh sweet mercy! Poor defenseless flying rat! Who knows, Chelsea, that rat could have been your meal ticket...I mean, if he could jump and dodge bbs like that he might have been able to sing and dance, too!

I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall watching all of that commotion! Or no...maybe not...maybe not a fly on the wall in the sunroom with the flying rat!

eastandwest said...

OMGoodness, Chelsea. You are hilarious!

a Tonggu Momma said...

BwwwaaaHaHaHaHa! Rest in pieces, little mouse. And you definitely deserve a shower. And I'll bet your husband needed one, too.

The Gulke Family said...

Rolling on the floor laughing! I can see it vividly and now can't stop laughing. Glad it has been taken care of! I hope you got your shower.

mac8906 said...

Chelsea, this is too funny! Unfortunately I do think it was a rat!! I think you should publish a book with all the Gour adventures....then that could be your retirement! Well, only if Isabel changes careers.... :>)

The Gulke Family said...

I have lived near Chicago long enough to know that is no mouse but a grade A rat! Way to go wild west Paul.

Scott Gulke

Christine said...

Yuck! At first I thought it was your pet!