The Voice of God

Part I of Why We Adopted

I honestly believe that God speaks to us in many different ways.  I hear his voice in my church, in my house, in my car.  He has spoken to me through the words of a book, the thoughts of a prophet, the advice of a friend, and in His own still small voice.  Which I have been privileged to hear. So clearly once that I could do nothing but cry at the sound of it.   I still get chills when I recall that night. 

It is part of Claire's story.  It is part of Isabel's story.  They are intertwined.  Like the stories of most sisters are.   

My first pregnancy resulted in my handsome, sweet twin boys.  My second pregnancy happened in August of 2000.  In September, I lost that baby.  It was early and I knew it happened to women all the time.  For the most part I couldn't see being upset about it.  I mean, I did have two amazing, healthy children to be thankful for.  But, one night it got the best of me.

 God had been working on me about adoption for many, many years, but I wasn't ready. Emphasis on the I word. Because of course, I'd made it about me again. 

I'd been researching it at the computer and I lost it.  Because I wanted to be pregnant.  I wanted to be pregnant one more time.  Which is exactly what I begged for.  I poured out my heart that night and begged God to let me be pregnant again. 

And in my passion, I spoke some fateful words.  Words that would come back to me....thank goodness. 

"Lord, if you will let me be pregnant just one more time, I promise I will adopt if that is what you want from me."

And God?  In His awesomeness, not only answered that prayer, but all the others I prayed during my pregnancy.     I wanted a girl.  I wanted her to be healthy.  I wanted her to be one of those happy babies that almost never cries.  I actually prayed for these things!  But, even more incredibly, God actually gave me what I wanted! 

Fast forward-It's 2006.  Isabel is 4 and Paul and I start talking about having another baby.  I'm sitting at my desk one night reading the Bible and thinking about the conversations we'd been having about babies. 
It's late.  It's quiet.  And, that is when I hear it.  A voice.  His voice.  Five words. 

You. Said. You. Would. Adopt.