Five months and Five days ago, Paul and I signed documents in China to declare an orphan child as our own. In the eyes of the world, she became our daughter on that day. But the truth is, she was ours from the day she was born, the day she was conceived, the day time began and God ordained it. We knew she was out there somewhere....we just had to find her. And, that is how an adoption journey begins....with the knowledge that someone is missing and the desire to figure out who it is.
The journey continues with applications, interviews and always, the searching-searching for documents to prove you are born, married, divorced, employed, healthy...searching your heart for the strength to do this, searching the faces of children on internet photolistings-"Who is she? Where? When? How will I know?" And back you go, to your heart, your bible, your prayers...searching. Then one day, her eyes stare back at you from a grainy photo taken on the other side of the world, or down the street-it doesn't matter, and you know. You don't know how you know...you just do.
Documents are presented, money changes hands, forms are signed, right hands are raised in earnest respect for the vows you take. You finally found that little person, scooped her into your arms and made promises to her and the world about how you will love and cherish every day with her. Is that the end of the journey? I thought so, but I've since learned different. Every day until the end of time will be a part of that journey, because the journey isn't just making a family, it's about being a family.
This is what I know ....we found a member of our family in China. She is a little girl that was clearly made to be in our family, and if you spend any time with us you will see that.
Yes, there she is crying her eyes out, clearly thrilled to be having this experience...and her betrothed is right there in front of her....crying his eyes out too! Peas and Carrots, you know.
This is what I know....
- Claire loves flax seed oatmeal, grapes, yogurt, cheese, cherry tomatoes, mashed potatoes, strawberries, orange juice and m&ms (most of these things, she would not eat four months ago)
- She eats chicken! She does not like any other meat.
- She likes to dip food in ketchup...but that doesn't necessarily mean she'll eat it.
- Claire loves to sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider, The Wheels on the Bus and do This Little Piggy on her toes!
- She loves to play with Play-Doh, and her Fisher Price School Bus, do puzzles and read books.
- She does not like to play alone!
- She does not like potty training-her excitement at that idea was short lived and though she can, she refuses to go on the potty. Oh well!
- She is terrified of bugs.....and puppets...and most animals, but she pet a horse the first time she saw one.
- She loves to fly, she loves to be outside, she loves to ride a bike-right now that means I have to ride and she sits in the baby seat, but yesterday she discovered a pink Radio Flyer trike at Target....we listened to her tell us "I ride bike" for an hour.
- She's tenacious! She's also bossy and we are working on manners!
- She cries if you tell her "no" or bow your head to pray.
- She goes to bed without a tear...most nights.
- She wants to pet the dogs....but she doesn't want them near her!?!
- She wants to play the piano, jump on the trampoline and go, go anywhere, in the car!
- She is so smart it scares me-one day she will go beyond the realm of my abilities to teach her!
She has changed much in the last five months and five days-and so have we. I can look back at my posts and see the difference, in her appearance, her likes and dislikes, her mannerisms. Some things have stayed the same, but not many. Gone is the child that you could set down in the middle of the bed with toys and expect that she would not move from that spot. Now she is up and down the stairs, in and out of rooms, following big brothers and sisters everywhere. Gone is the quiet girl that pushed mommy away. Today she loudly told daddy, "mommy do it" when he tried to cath and dress her!
Taken at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou, China on May 20th
Taken at home, today....same outfit, shoes and socks, but so different!
This is what I know....Claire makes us laugh every day! She reminds us how prayers are answered and how important it is to have a family, be loved and say thank you. The fact that she is here reminds us of how God's plan is bigger than us, His timing is perfect and His power to move mountains and keep promises, true. These are things that are easy to take for granted in our culture. The love of a family has changed Claire profoundly and her presence has inspired better things from us. I cried the night Isabel chose to stay in the room with Claire instead of taking her turn to sleep with me, something the kids fight over to do when Paul is out of town. I didn't cry for the loss of my bed buddy but because she said didn't want Claire to be alone, even though she was already asleep and wouldn't know! I have walked past her room at night to see her kneeling at the side of Claire's crib caressing her cheeks while she sleeps. She doesn't know I've seen this. I've stood just on the other side of a door and listened to Parker playing with Claire because I'm not used to hearing that kind of tenderness from Mr. matter-of-fact. It's heartwarming to watch Noah stop at nothing to keep her from crying and if she starts you will never see three kids react so fast to find the source and quell it. Lizzie, in an effort to bond with her small sister spent time naming letters by the fridge and unwittingly got her interested in the alphabet. Lizzie has given her precious free time to bond with Claire and that has brought us all closer to her. But, the cherry on the Sundae was when Noah asked if I would teach him to catheterize Claire so that I wouldn't have to do it by myself all day.
Will they always be so gentle, so patient, so selfless....I don't know!
This is what I know....
We are a family still on our journey!